My Positive First Home Birth Story

Read all about my positive first home birth story! With this story, I hope to encourage you to make your own positive birth story.

More and more women are opting to have their babies at home. And in this post, I will include my own reasons for having my second baby at home. But regardless of where you choose to give birth, there are many actions you can take to have a positive birth experience. Not everything is in your control, but probably more than you think! If you are pregnant or hoping to conceive, I hope my positive first home birth story can encourage you along your path to a positive birth story of your own!

What is a positive birth story?

A positive birth story obviously includes a happy ending, with a healthy mom and baby. But beyond that, I think a positive birth story is one in which the mom remains calm for most or all of labor. And ideally, there are little to no complications. A positive birth is not full of fear or pain. Instead, the mom is able to relax through the contractions, and the pain is manageable. I have even heard of people who were so skilled at relaxing through contractions that their labors were painless! While that is the ideal we can all shoot for, it requires an immense amount of mental and bodily control. And that control only comes with lots and lots of practice.

Beyond the labor experience, a positive birth story includes a quick recovery. I would rather experience the pains of labor than a long recovery from a forceps delivery because I was too numb from an epidural to push. Not to mention, those drugs do get to the baby, even with a local anesthetic. And, a drugged-up baby doesn’t make for a very good nurser. That is why the easiest way to a positive birth is the natural way, which I will talk more about below.

Do home births hurt less than hospital births?

Home births don’t necessarily hurt less than hospital births. But the kind of people who plan a home birth are also the kind of people who set themselves up for success. They educate themselves about proper nutrition and exercise during pregnancy. And, they study the pros and cons of different medical interventions. They also learn how to avoid unnecessary pain during labor by replacing the fear of giving birth with knowledge. Fear causes the body to tense up, and that tension makes labor ten times harder than it needs to be. However, you can prepare in the same way for a hospital birth.

Are home births safe?

Every pregnancy and birth has its risks. If you have a high-risk pregnancy, you probably shouldn’t plan a home birth. However, most pregnancies are low-risk. And in a 2019 meta-analysis of over 500,000 low-risk women, the rate of prenatal or neonatal mortality was found to be no different whether the woman intended to give birth at home or at the hospital.

That said, there are many complications that can be avoided by giving birth at home. For example, women who give birth in a hospital are often told to labor on their backs. This makes labor more painful, pushing more difficult, increases the risk of tearing or the need for an episiotomy, and puts pressure on the inferior vena cava, which compromises blood flow to you and the baby. Not to mention, the cesarean delivery rate for all births is 20-40%, depending on where you live. The cesarean delivery rate for planned home births is only 5.2%. These are only some of the reasons why the number of women opting for home births is on the rise.

Why I chose a home birth?

With my first baby, I planned to give birth at a birth center. However, my baby had an irregular heartbeat, and so the birth center refused to deliver her. After talking to a couple of women, I discovered that the specific condition my baby had was common and usually resolved itself after birth, which it did. And my doula even had a midwife friend who was willing to do a last-minute home birth for me. But, as most first-time mothers, I was still worried, and I ended up going to the hospital for the birth of my daughter.

Luckily, my hospital experience wasn’t as negative as many of the experiences I have heard from family and friends. It definitely helped to have a doula with me who was willing to speak up for my birth plan. I was also resolute about having a drug-free birth. Because of that, getting an epidural never even crossed my mind during labor.

However, after I had been pushing for 2 1/2 hours, the midwife was insistent on giving me an episiotomy if my baby’s head didn’t come out soon. I wanted to avoid an episiotomy at all costs, unless of course the baby were in danger, because episiotomies increase the chance of third and fourth degree tears. So, I pushed more forcefully than I should have and received a second degree labial tear on my baby’s shoulder. I don’t believe I would have torn as badly if I had been able to listen to my body’s pushing cues. And the stitches made finding a comfortable position in which to breastfeed impossible.

Another thing I didn’t like about my hospital birth is that the doctor rushed my husband in cutting the cord while it was still pulsing. The midwife and I had agreed beforehand on delayed cord clamping. But it wasn’t until after my baby was born that we found out what she meant by “delayed cord clamping” was only 30 seconds after birth. And these are the reasons I decided to do a home birth with my second baby.

My Positive First Home Birth Story

It has been almost a year since the birth of my second baby. But my doula recorded in detail everything that happened after she arrived. And I think I can remember enough of the rest of my labor to give you insight into what a home birth can look like.

Early Labor

My home birth story began around 2am, very similarly to my first labor which began around 3am. Beginning labor in the middle of the night or early morning is very common because the body is most relaxed at night. But unlike my first labor, I had a few hours of early labor before active labor began. At the beginning, my contractions were several minutes apart and fairly easy to breath through. I did have to stop what I was doing for each contraction, but they weren’t painful.

Another way in which my second labor was different than my first is that I had a toddler to take care of. Luckily, I had from 2am to 7am to labor in peace. For the first couple of hours, I did some light cleaning and organizing around the house to get ready for the baby. And closer to sunrise, I watched TV to relax until my toddler woke up.

Once my toddler awoke, I called my parents to come watch her. Unfortunately, my parents live nearly 3 hours away, so my husband had to watch her during that time. One thing I regret about this birth is that I didn’t call my parents sooner. I wish I had called them closer to 4am so that I could have had my husband’s undivided attention that morning. While I was able to get through the contractions well on my own during early labor, I think active labor would have gone more smoothly if my husband and I had practiced our relaxation techniques during early labor.

Active Labor

Starting between 10am and 11am, my contractions were 5 minutes apart, and they required my full focus and my husband’s full support. At 11:30am I asked my midwife and doula to come, and everyone was here by 1pm.

Just like with my first labor, I felt most comfortable sitting Indian style in bed, slightly reclined. I do wish I spent more time in that position, and I will next time. But I was in a shy mood that day, both because I woke up that morning at 2am from a bad dream and because my doula was a substitute for the doula I had expected to have. So I followed my doula’s suggestions and labored on the yoga ball for much of active labor. I know that many people find comfort laboring in a forward position against a yoga ball. But I personally don’t find that position comfortable at all during labor.

Transition

If you aren’t familiar with the term “transition,” it refers to the end of active labor, typically between 7cm and 10cm, when you start second-guessing your ability to make it through the rest of labor. I want to give you a realistic explanation of what transition can look like. It is very hard work and requires much focus, but it doesn’t have to be a traumatic experience. During transition with my first baby, I even laughed at a joke, albeit on the inside because I was too focused on my contractions to laugh externally.

Transition this time began around 1pm with hot flashes. My doula applied an ice pack to my forehead and turned my bedroom fan towards me to help during my hot flashes. At about 1:30pm, I started feeling anxious and told my husband, “I can’t breath.” My husband was very supportive throughout both of my labors. Honestly, there is nothing more comforting during a difficult contraction than a husband’s physical and emotional presence.

At 2:30pm, I said, “It hurts so bad,” in almost a whisper. My doula remarked afterwards how calm I was the whole time. I’m not saying that labor wasn’t difficult for me. But I never once thought, What if I could just have an epidural?

Water Breaking

The height of transition was a particularly difficult contraction, after which I vomited. This contraction happened while I was laboring on the yoga ball. I was so afraid that I would have another contraction like it, but labor slowed down after that. I continued having contractions, but they were as easy as my pre-transition contractions. During that time, I moved to laboring on the toilet for half an hour, which helped me progress a lot. Then, I went back to my favorite position in bed for a little bit. And finally I labored standing up, leaning against my husband for support. Standing up seemed to do the trick, because as soon as I had one contraction standing up, my water broke and my baby was here within 10 minutes!

Pushing

After my water broke, I felt my baby’s head crowning. With my first, I didn’t even feel her head crown because I had pushed for so long that I was basically numb down there. But it definitely burned this time! It still wasn’t as bad as transition though. Actually, there is a certain relief that comes with second stage labor. During first stage labor, all you can do is relax and change positions. But during second stage, you can actually do something with your contractions, and it feels so natural and almost good to push.

I birthed my baby on my hands and knees in bed at 4pm. That was 7 hours shorter than my first labor. With the exception of my first labor, I had never been so exhausted. I stayed on my hands and knees for several minutes before I got the energy to turn onto my back. The midwife checked my baby and me. My baby was perfectly healthy, and I had no tears. The placenta came 10 minutes after the baby. And here ends my first home birth story!

Recovery

After my second birth, I was a lot more aware than after my first birth. It was earlier in the day, my labor was shorter, and I bled significantly less. So, I had the energy to smile and hold a conversation, and I was in a pretty good mood too! It is such a relief when the hard work is over and you get to just relax with your baby. And eat! I snacked during labor, but my first meal that day was at 4:30pm. My doula made me eggs and toast, and my dad went to the store to buy me chocolate ice cream!

It is really hard to believe how well my second recovery went compared to my first. First of all, I didn’t have any uncomfortable stitches to deal with, so I was a lot more relaxed while breastfeeding. And because I bled so little during the birth, my energy levels were surprisingly high. Of course, I took a break from my normal routine for a few weeks while my mom and sister-in-law took turns helping out. But I was moving about the house and doing laundry within just a few days, and I had no relapse in energy. Overall, I had a positive first home birth experience.

How can you have a positive birth experience?

Whether or not you choose to have your baby at home, it is wise to prepare for the birth of your baby. As Dr. Bradley puts it, having a baby is like running a marathon. You wouldn’t jump into a marathon without extensive training beforehand. Similarly, you should prepare your body, as well as your mind, for the “marathon” of labor. Yes, your body was made for this. But that doesn’t mean you should sit on the couch all day, watching TV and eating ice cream. Neither should you wait until your due date to decide what you’ll do if your baby wants to come “late.”

For a more in-depth answer, see How to Prepare for a Natural Birth: A Complete Guide. But some general advice I would give a pregnant mom is to:

• walk everyday,
• stay hydrated,
• look online for a list of pregnancy-specific exercises,
• eat 80-100 grams of protein daily,
• take a good-quality prenatal vitamin (I like Garden of Life’s “prenatal once daily” multivitamin),
• reduce stress,
• write a birth plan you feel confident about,
• find a doctor or midwife who aligns with your values,
• find a support person or team who will be there at your birth,
• and take a Bradley class.

The best thing my husband and I did to prepare for the birth of our first baby was taking a Bradley class. The Bradley method is not like the Lamaze method. Dr. Bradley taught natural breathing for real relaxation and reduced pain. The Lamaze method teaches breathing techniques intended to distract the mom from labor pain, which can sometimes lead to hyperventilation. The Bradley method also advocates for husbands’ presence in the delivery room. However, you can choose anyone (a sister, a mother, a friend, etc.) to be your primary support person.

Conclusion

I hope you found some encouragement in my first home birth story. I tried to be realistic, including what I would have done differently if I could do it over. But overall, I would consider my first home birth story to be a positive one. While I don’t enjoy giving birth, I never reached a 10 out of 10 on a pain scale with either of my labors. And, I was able to remain calm for all but a few contractions during transition. Not to mention, as a Christian, I have the wonderful opportunity of offering up the pains of childbirth for my new baby! If you are pregnant reading this post, I wish you all the best. May God bless you and your baby!

If you have given birth before, what was your favorite resource during pregnancy? Leave your answer in the comments below!

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